differences

sometimes I get hit by how different I am to people.
how different other people's outlooks are, or what they like to do.
how they talk.
and it's hard to make close friends with people who will probably never understand me
I feel like I'm at the other end of the spectrum to 99% of people.
But I wonder, do they notice?
stand out or blend in?
am I a key person in anybody's life; have I made an impression and do they care?
maybe I'm just another friendly guy.
Who KNOWS me?
who would really like to KNOW me?
who hopes they can spend more time with me today than they did yesterday?
I know how I see myself, but who am I to others, or who have I been, or who will I be?
am I just putting on a show because I'm trying so hard to be a certain kind of person listening to a certain kind of music wearing certain clothes and trying to fit this description of who I want to be in my head?
maybe I abandon that and just 'be myself'. but what is myself?
surely I can aspire to a better version of myself, which, when I reach it, will still be ME. but constantly trying to be someone I'm not might get depressing.
if I knew who I am/ who I'm supposed to be/ who I want to be, things would be easier.
if I just stopped trying to impress the certain people that I want to make a good impression on.
maybe one day I'll leave all this and fly away to some far off country to find a new place and a new life and an adventure and find some space to breathe.